If there is no place for focusing on one's shortcomings or on the good traits other's have but you are lacking as they disturb the intimate connection, where then does the concept come in that קנאת סופרים תרבה חכמה, jealousy of other's good points increases ones wisdom and good deeds?
The answer is that this type of jealousy is only of value to someone who really understands his own nature and is not seeking to exchange who he is for something else. Such a person has the ability to see what someone else is doing with his unique set of abilities and learn how to do something by then incorporating it into his own unique self and with his own set of skills. If, on the other hand, the jealousy mistakenly leads someone to lose his own self-respect and feels that his own life is worthless, then the jealousy has no value. When the Torah says that Rochel was jealous of her sister Leah our Sages explain that she was jealous of Leah's good deeds. I.e. she didn't want to be Leah, but she wanted to know how she could incorporate Leah's good deeds into her own personna. If a person is lacking self-knowledge he lacks the tools for self-improvement.
Furthermore, people say that a thief is not someone who knows how to steal, but one who actually steals. In the same vein one who is a scholar and pious is not one who has the book knowledge associated with learning and piety, but one who lives his learning and piety. Anyone with any understanding is aware that there is no value to great knowledge. Living what you know, that's where it's at. Better to know a little and live it genuinely than to be walking around with all the understanding in the world.
What is the value in coming before Hashem with all this understanding of what you should be and how your life should be, and what others are? Hashem will say in response, "Be who you are. Come to me with who you are, that is what is precious to me. Much more so than what you aren't, and you wish you were."
The answer is that this type of jealousy is only of value to someone who really understands his own nature and is not seeking to exchange who he is for something else. Such a person has the ability to see what someone else is doing with his unique set of abilities and learn how to do something by then incorporating it into his own unique self and with his own set of skills. If, on the other hand, the jealousy mistakenly leads someone to lose his own self-respect and feels that his own life is worthless, then the jealousy has no value. When the Torah says that Rochel was jealous of her sister Leah our Sages explain that she was jealous of Leah's good deeds. I.e. she didn't want to be Leah, but she wanted to know how she could incorporate Leah's good deeds into her own personna. If a person is lacking self-knowledge he lacks the tools for self-improvement.
Furthermore, people say that a thief is not someone who knows how to steal, but one who actually steals. In the same vein one who is a scholar and pious is not one who has the book knowledge associated with learning and piety, but one who lives his learning and piety. Anyone with any understanding is aware that there is no value to great knowledge. Living what you know, that's where it's at. Better to know a little and live it genuinely than to be walking around with all the understanding in the world.
What is the value in coming before Hashem with all this understanding of what you should be and how your life should be, and what others are? Hashem will say in response, "Be who you are. Come to me with who you are, that is what is precious to me. Much more so than what you aren't, and you wish you were."
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