Self vs. Connection

On Rosh Hashanah I was studying a different work by Rav Avraham Zvi Kluger called Nezer Yisroel. At the end of Vol. IV there were a few essays that are pertinent to Rosh Hashanah. One of them touched on some concepts that are related to the ideas that we have been exploring from Yichud haHisbodidus so I have chosen to share part of this essay.

There are two ways in which a persons sense of self (as opposed to a sense of being part of Hashem) manifests itself. The first one is what we would called hubris (גאוה) in which a person feels that he deserves all the credit for his successes. If a person wishes to unify with Hashem even a whiff of this attitude creates a barrier between Hashem and His beloved children.

There is, however, another attitude that may appear to be the opposite of hubris, but in reality it creates an self-based separation as well. There are times that one can feel completely unsuccessful and that nothing he does is worthwhile. The person feels low and weak. This may appear to be humility, but the reality is that this is a deeper form of a sense of self and separation from Hashem.

In the first sense that we mentioned, hubris, it is obvious that the person feels separate from Hashem. As the hand of Hashem is invisible, the person is under the delusion that he has no need for Hashem's help. Life has a way of disabusing a person of this notion. It teaches a person that he is nothing by himself. All it takes is a moment of such recognition to realize the falsehood of hubris.

In the case of the other attitude, the person feels alone, abandoned and weak. The reality is that the person is part of Hashem, "Bone of His Bone," but by feeling abandoned and left to his or her own devices there is an absolute separation. The first attitude is easy to identify and to rectify, in the second case the person can immerse himself completely in a feeling of emptiness and depression. Even though he "knows" that he should have a positive attitude, he is completely given over to the "truth" of his awful situation.

To get a deeper appreciation of this matter we need to understand a basic concept of Chassidic thought.

Sometimes when people feel down and inadequate they base their self-understanding on Mussar-based teachings. There are those who teach that a person should regularly engage in a reckoning of his behavior to raise his own awareness of how far he is from the ideal.

Chassidic thought teaches that whereas the left arm pushes away, the right arm (the stronger one) pulls close.  Yes, there is a bit of a pendulum that swings between these two, but the pulling of the right arm never allows room for the feeling of inadequacy to take root. There are those who mistakenly assume that the Chassidic Masters taught this only because they were afraid that if people saw the reality (that they were indeed inadequate) that they would be incapable of functioning, and the Mussar approach is true and is for those who wish to face the truth.

But it all depends on how one understands serving Hashem. If service of Hashem consists of staying away from wrongdoing and doing good deeds (including thoughts and speech) then there is basis for the Mussar approach. Even if the result is that the person will feel distant, the goal is to get him to choose good behaviors and telling the person how inadequate he is may just spur him to do more "good."

However, the RASHB"I, the Ariza"l and especially the Baal Shem Tov started to teach that the main goal of life is to unify with Hashem. If that's so then the weight given to various activities is completely different. We are focused now on ובחרת בחיים, "You should choose life," which refers to the constant feeling of being unified with Hashem.

Generally when we think of Amalek we think of a bloodthirsty enemy intent on destroying the fledgling Jewish Nation. But there is also an Amalek attitude against which Hashem Himself fights. כי יד על כס יה מלחמה לה' בעמלק, Hashem swear on His throne that he has a war with Amalek. The name used here for Hashem is יה, it is a part of the full name of Hashem. The name is incomplete and un-unified. Amalek is that power and that attitude which prevents unification.

On Rosh Hashanah the Shofar is blown with various sounds which represent sighing and crying. These are the sighs and cries of people who feel separated from Hashem and sunk into depression because of their individual situations and that which they lack in their lives. People often don't realize how this is an Amalek attitude. This is because they have not been enlightened with the attitude that all that counts is finding ways to connect to Hashem. Not just believing that there is such a concept in which Holy people can engage, but a recognition that every person is connected to the Shechinah and has the ability to unify with Hashem. This unification is the recognition that one is connected to Hashem.

When one finds him or herself feeling full of cries and sighs on being separate from a sense of a spiritual connection, the very recognition of this state and the understanding that he can, and should, be connected is, in and of itself a unification with Hashem and a coming close again.