The first rule of being a bestower is to do so in a manner that raises the stature of the recipient. Namely that the recipient feels his own self-worth and his happy to receive. For example, if a poor person knocks on someone's door, the homeowner can either just give a donation, or choose to do so with a smile on his face. He can tell his visitor, "I am so happy that you came," and similar statements that will build him up and let him know that he is valued by the homeowner. His subsequent receiving is a completely different experience. (I recall having a guest when I lived in Los Angeles who could not stop telling me how he had been a guest at a friend for a Shabbos meal and the host had said "I am so honored that you came." For years he would tell this over; it meant so much to him. CL)
Being built up creates the desire for a relationship without even getting involved in the nitty gritty details of who the recipient is and other reasons that give him value and favor in the eyes of the bestower. What occurred is an expression of desire to give and to connect. When a person hears of his great value, as if Hashem has said to him "I am so glad that you came," it awakens him. His self-esteem is increased when he knows that Hashem desires him and wants the person to come speak with Him. These wonderful words drift down from the Bestower and fall upon the recipient like life-giving dew.
There can't be greatness where there is small-mindedness. If you want a connection of greatness you can't come with smallness. It is necessary to connect to the great love Hashem has for you and to use this to light up the situation in which you find yourself. Don't view your situation as being unique or that you are alone. In order to leave small-mindedness you can't be busy with it at all, rather, you need to focus on the greatness of your soul and listen to the inner voice which is telling you what a great Neshama you have. After that you can deal with your small-mindedness which is best dealt with indirectly.
The first step to proper davening is building self-esteem. A person needs to renew his understanding of his value to Hashem, and to realize that Hashem wishes to build him up.
At this point it is still premature to appreciate the depth of the connection. Still, it is the first step to allowing oneself to truly connect.
Being built up creates the desire for a relationship without even getting involved in the nitty gritty details of who the recipient is and other reasons that give him value and favor in the eyes of the bestower. What occurred is an expression of desire to give and to connect. When a person hears of his great value, as if Hashem has said to him "I am so glad that you came," it awakens him. His self-esteem is increased when he knows that Hashem desires him and wants the person to come speak with Him. These wonderful words drift down from the Bestower and fall upon the recipient like life-giving dew.
There can't be greatness where there is small-mindedness. If you want a connection of greatness you can't come with smallness. It is necessary to connect to the great love Hashem has for you and to use this to light up the situation in which you find yourself. Don't view your situation as being unique or that you are alone. In order to leave small-mindedness you can't be busy with it at all, rather, you need to focus on the greatness of your soul and listen to the inner voice which is telling you what a great Neshama you have. After that you can deal with your small-mindedness which is best dealt with indirectly.
The first step to proper davening is building self-esteem. A person needs to renew his understanding of his value to Hashem, and to realize that Hashem wishes to build him up.
At this point it is still premature to appreciate the depth of the connection. Still, it is the first step to allowing oneself to truly connect.
No comments:
Post a Comment