Sometimes a person finds himself in a situation in which he feels that something momentous is occurring. He can't wrap his mind around it but he feels internal holiness and close to Hashem. He mistakenly assumes that he is feeling the taste of Emunah. You should be aware that this is not real Emunah. Even though his mind is not involved, still as long as his heart is feeling something he is not operating in Emunah. Emunah is only when the person feels completely empty.
Frequently when a person feels that he is not operating at his greatest spiritual capacity he assumes that he is living in the realm of Emunah. However, if he still has some grasp on what is happening, through some understanding or feeling, then his sense of self is still somewhat present, and he is not yet at the point of Emunah.
But there are times of complete darkness, where a person finds everything sealed before him. He doesn't understand what is happening, feels nothing, and finds himself paralyzed. He doesn't even know how to express what he is undergoing. In this place of emptiness he does not even seem to relate in any way to what is happening to him. He has no relationship with his surroundings. This is the place of Emunah. This is the moment of creation. The inauguration of Hashem's monarchy. He can live in Hashem's kingdom. This is the revelation that has come to Hashem's creation. The deepest connection between the Creator and the Creation is revealed at the time when they appear to be most distant.
Frequently when a person feels that he is not operating at his greatest spiritual capacity he assumes that he is living in the realm of Emunah. However, if he still has some grasp on what is happening, through some understanding or feeling, then his sense of self is still somewhat present, and he is not yet at the point of Emunah.
But there are times of complete darkness, where a person finds everything sealed before him. He doesn't understand what is happening, feels nothing, and finds himself paralyzed. He doesn't even know how to express what he is undergoing. In this place of emptiness he does not even seem to relate in any way to what is happening to him. He has no relationship with his surroundings. This is the place of Emunah. This is the moment of creation. The inauguration of Hashem's monarchy. He can live in Hashem's kingdom. This is the revelation that has come to Hashem's creation. The deepest connection between the Creator and the Creation is revealed at the time when they appear to be most distant.
Chaim, Based on past responses, I am hesitant to express and ask this. But being as I've had this exact question for the last 25 years I will ask anyway. This is exactly like the trite poem, Footprints (that Chaim Sh. once showed me and thought was so profound). It is saying that when the Creator is closest to me, that is when I feel the worst - "complete darkness... everything sealed before me... paralyzed... no relationship with surroundings" - emptiness. So then why is this relationship so desirable and not something to eschew?
ReplyDeletestlfan,
DeleteI had to read your message a couple of times until I realized who you were. I would encourage you to wait until we are finished with all the posts on Emunah and then revisit your question to see if it still bothers you.
The one point I will raise now in response to your question is: Who is saying the person feels the worst?