When You're Lost: 1

Sometimes a person understands in his mind what is happening to him, or he may find understanding in his heart. But there are other times when a person feels devoid of any understanding or feeling. This is referred to in Kabbalistic terms as לית לה מגרמה כלום, she has nothing of her own. The person can only continue to exist by discovering help from outside himself, be receiving. In other words, he relies on, is supported by, is pulled by and drawn by something which he does not understand, feel or know. This is called Emunah.

Emunah is found when one is in a state of utter emptiness. Kabbalah refers to it as מלכות, Malchus. This state if the epitome of Creation.

If the person has any understanding or feeling about the situation then he is not in pure "receiving" mode. He is still inputting from himself. This state is only when a person feels completely empty of his own devices and has only Emunah to which he can cling.

A Heart to Know and Ears to Hear: 6

A person may follow what his heart tells him is the will of Hashem. This was the path of Pinchas who acted in a manner that Halacha would not have instructed him. But he and Hashem knew that what he was doing was the true and proper path for himself. This is evident by his being rewarded by Hashem by becoming a Kohen; a position for which he was until then not eligible.

At times a person will find himself in such a situation. He begins to have self doubts, "Who do you think you are to decide that you are listening to Hashem's voice?" He starts to wonder if he isn't perhaps being self-delusional and not standing in a place of truth.

He needs to understand to himself that his truth stands above all other truth. That  "I am wonderful in the eyes of Hashem. Hashem rejoices constantly at the holiness of my soul. Hashem will give me, also, his Covenant of Peace." This is the connection that can be created through proper prayer.

A Heart to Know and Ears to Hear: 5b

When a person prays at the grave of a tzaddik he should be focused on the inner meaning of the teachings of the tzaddik and to use the inspiration as a vessel to receive a deeper understanding of those teachings. The same is true when one studies the Torah teachings of a great sage. By focusing on the inner meaning of the teachings he can become a vessel to bring forth deeper meanings that have not yet been discovered. Even if he is learning what he has learned before and it is already familiar material, he can receive new understanding. When he connects to the mind of his teacher he can understand even thoughts that were not incorporated in the words of his works.

Letters are precise and confining, and the light they contain is more than can be seen in black on white. As the Talmud teaches, "One who gives, gives with a generous eye." The sagacious author has put more of himself into the words than meets the eye. By allowing oneself to completely connect to the words one can discern what he hid within.

A person can feel the truth in what he is learning, that he has touched on the inner words of the author. He feels as if he is standing before the sage hearing things that have never yet been revealed. He feels the joy of the author that he has found a befitting vessel to absorb his words and who is discovering new insights.

A Heart to Know and Ears to Hear: 5a

A true and complete connection to another enables the recipient to comprehend the inner heart of the bestower even in the absence of explicit words. Conversely, the bestower absorbs the mind of the recipient. This includes even words and ideas that have never been expressed.

This is the meaning of the Talmudic statement that a wife performs the will of her husband. She comprehends his will even when it has not been expressed. She knows what is in his innermost heart even when he hasn't expressed it to himself. This is the sign of a true connection.

The reason that will may not have been expressed yet to himself is because he lacks the vessel in which to express it. For example a person who carries within himself new Torah insights but does not share them as he fears that he has no one who will appreciate them. His inner self will only be expressed when there is someone who can accept and retain it. It is only in the merit of the vessel that the will expressed and actualized. She doesn't merely do his will she actualizes it.

This can be true in any relationship, teacher and student or between friends, in each case there is a bestowing of light. One party feels that he is receiving something that is not from himself and makes himself into a receiving vessel by giving himself over to the light. If, however, he does something inwardly that shows resistance to receiving, the giver will feel that his power to bestow has been stopped. His vessel is gone, the relationship is sundered and he cannot continue to bestow. He will refrain from expressing his inner self.

A Heart to Know and Ears to Hear: 4b

Traditionally when people arrive at a holy place or time they contemplate that which is occurring in their lives. They think about the thoughts that are coming up in their minds and allow their souls to follow the faint lights that are flickering within. Within them they find inspiration that is coming from the special place or time in which they find themselves.

Take La B'Omer as an example. It is seen as a time when one can connect to the teachings of Rebbe Shimon bar Yochai. People learn his teachings and rejoice in his story. Imagine how special it would be if he would actually appear to a person with words of encouragement! How amazingly uplifting! Those who come to his grave on Lag B'Omer understand that the feelings that are in their hearts when they are standing there are also coming directly from him.

This is true hearing - opening the heart to receive the messages of the particular time and place. If one arrives there with pre-determined notions of what he wishes to accomplish there he will never hear these voices as he has already decided what it is that he will hear. But if one arrives empty and open, prepared to absorb any new inspiration that will come his way this year - not limited by his own vessel, but whatever is offered to him - he will come away with what heaven has in store for him that day. For a long time he will be able to relive that experience of the words Rebbe Shimon said to him.

The same is true anytime one enters into prayer. He should be coming not only to speak what is on his mind, but also to receive that which is spoken and given to him. Not only that which he is predisposed to hear, but prepared to receive and learn from whatever Hashem tells him.

A Heart to Know and Ears to Hear: 4a

A poor person can approach a potential donor to seek food or cash with empty outstretched hands to receive that which is offered to him and receive great bounty. On the other hand, one who is destitute can come to a rich person's home with a small and narrow vessel which he has brought from home. He lacks the knowledge of how to collect donations in any other manner. He knows every nook and cranny of the pushka which he is carrying. Every day it is filled with the pennies people toss inside it, and he is reluctant to give it up. A donor may desire to offer him a donation that cannot possibly fit inside, but the poor person, refusing to give up his meager vessel, does not allow the donor to have that opportunity.

Similarly, a person may come to a holy place to pray. She needs help with a pressing problem, or she may be seeking inspiration. Rather than recognizing the opportunity presented before her - those spiritual powers that are present in this unique place - she arrives with pre-conceived notions that she is carrying with herself. She wants the salvation to fit itself within those pre-conceived notions. Awaiting her are gushing founts which can alter her entire existence, but she is standing there with her tiny pushka. She is repeating over and over the minutiae that inspired her to come here, but she neglects to empty herself of the baggage with which she has arrived to be open to be uplifted and to receive something greater. The holiness is speaking to her, but is not absorbed within. She is too busy trying to escape to receive.

A Heart to Know and Ears to Hear: 3b

A person may have trust in the holiness of his heart and know that the voice of Hashem is speaking to him. It is an inner voice which is shining the way to his true path. He is not being drawn to ways that are foreign to the Torah - everything to which he will listen will be within the bounds of those things that lead a person to greater love and fear of Hashem and more diligence in Mitzvah observance. It is, however, the time for his to absorb which of the seventy facets of the Torah is appropriate for him at the present moment. What path, what thoughts in the heart that resonate with his inner spirit should he utilize before Hashem.

This does not mean one should only listen and not speak. One should surely share with Hashem all the trials and tribulations of his day. But he is doing so with the intent of giving himself over to Hashem and listening to what he hears. By sharing all with Hashem he realizes that he has nothing truly of his own and that by making himself a vessel for the light of Hashem he will have life and accomplishment.

A Heart to Know and Ears to Hear: 3a

Even amongst those who come to hear there are two levels. There are those who know beforehand what it is that they will hear. They are excited with anticipation about the inspiring words they will hear. They appreciate the words of comfort and encouragement that Hashem will say to them or, perhaps, the sharp words of rebuke that will frighten their souls and give them no rest. They know what they have learned about what to take out of a prayer experience and are coming to see what they studied come to fruition.

As the person begins his prayer experience he knows what it is that he will come away with. He is coming to focus and renew that of which he is already aware. As the world churns around him he is engaged in focusing to connect to his inner-self. As wonderful as this is, it is not real listening.

Real listening requires the person to initially completely empty himself. He needs to be prepared to hear and embrace a new insight in his soul - whatever it is that Hashem shines in his Nefesh. Since he believes that Hashem is with him, indeed He fills all of existence, he has no doubt that Hashem loves him and is concerned about his well-being. Hashem hears, knows, sees, and constantly shines before him the path on which he should walk. When the person is communicating with Hashem he therefore is ready to accept any instruction, plain and simple. It is not far for him, it is close, within his mouth and heart as is obvious to anyone who has engaged in this type of prayer.

A Heart to Know and Ears to Hear: 2

When a person speaks with Hashem, during formal or informal prayer, he is uniting with his Creator. A person can choose to speak, to open his mouth and share all that has occurred with him. Everyone begins their communication in this way, to present their truth from the place where they are at the present. But one who is in speaking mode sees this as the primary purpose of his connecting with Hashem. He feels that by pouring out his heart he has completely fulfilled his need to pray. But frequently he doesn't find anything specific on which to focus and finds it a difficult process as he doesn't know what to pray for. He then needs to come up with all sorts of ideas as to how to get himself to pray in that state.

By contrast there are those who understand that prayer time is listening time. A person can connect to Hashem in any state in which he finds himself and to pay attention with his spirit and soul to hear what is being said to him at that moment. Hashem speaks to a person through his heart

A Heart to Know and Ears to Hear: 1

When a person engages in Hisbodidus he enters into a shining spiritual existence akin to רוח הקודש, Divine Spirit. At this time he is being spoken to, and he should listen with the ears of his heart.

This is true anytime that a person finds himself at a time of favor from Hashem, when he can easily praise Hashem and make requests. It is a time of purity for a person when he can absorb things. The windows of his soul can open to hear what the Universe is saying to him. It is telling him the word of Hashem. People have always gathered on holidays to spend hours together soaking in the purity and holiness of what the times have to tell them.

It is important to understand that in these situations there are different levels of hearing.

A person may come to a sage for advice. Some people come only to make themselves heard. They are oblivious to what is being said back to them. Others come to listen, but they have already decided before they arrive what it is that they will be willing to listen to. They mix themselves into the words of the sage in order that they ensure that they are told what it is that they desire to hear. They, too, are not really prepared to hear what is being said to them. It is often clear that the sage wishes to transmit a particular message and the the person refuses to accept it.

One who truly hears isn't coming to press his own agenda or to choose what will be said to him. He comes simply to listen. He comes to take advantage of an opportunity to receive direction, whatever it is. To listen to it and to act upon it.

The Desire to Give: 5b

Rather than trying to bring the light of Hashem into your own vessels, pick yourself up and be a vessel for lights that are greater than the wildest dreams heart and mind. This is the light that comes from communicating with Hashem with total trust. Even though these are not levels that you comprehend and can seek and request ahead of time, that shouldn't bother you. Why would you wish to remain stuck in your present understanding?

Anyone who wishes a relationship with Hashem has to first entice themselves with intellectual reasons, שלא לשמה, similar to the six days of the week which precede Shabbos. They can then glimpse the truth, לשמה, which is Shabbos. He can now comprehend that everything else was merely an introduction and the inner sanctuary is something entirely different. He can now serve Hashem from a position of closeness, on a level he never knew existed and never felt missing.

One cannot remain on this level constantly without a break. A person needs to return over and over again to those levels for which he hungered and where he began and from there to rise again.

The Desire to Give: 5

People initially begin to serve Hashem by attempting to understand lofty concepts or spirituality. In this manner, what they are receiving is being poured into their own vessels. They are then spurred on too go further to arrive at self-nullification before Hashem and connection. In this manner their own vessels are being incorporated within the light of Hashem.

Many stumble when they reach the second step. They think to themselves, "We were seeking spirituality, true joy, and to be saved from base desires. We never asked to be encouraged to reach heights which we never contemplated. And now, because of our increased understanding, we have become nullified before the Light of Hashem which we don't want. We wished to fill our own vessels which felt empty, and we feel we ended up with something else.

This is the line of demarcation between those who are self-serving and those who are God-serving. The first person ends up losing out on both ends as described above. He doesn't find what he seeks and gets something in which he has no interest. But one who is prepared to truly serve Hashem understands that what he has accomplished is beyond his capacity. But what does he care as he is now a vessel close to the Bestower which is something else entirely.

The Desire to Give: 4b

A teacher may have stored in his mind deep secrets that he is unable to share with everyone. He seeks a student who can be the vessel to receive his teachings. A student who, so to speak, is the repository where the teacher can deposit the inner secrets of his brain; the roots that can grow anew in fertile soil. They cannot be shared with everyone, only with a student who uniquely understands his teacher.

In the same manner every person is a vessel in which Hashem wishes to deposit his secrets so they can grow into a revelation of His glory. Each person as the vessel he has been chosen to be. When a person comes to connect to Hashem he should understand that he is placing himself as the vessel in which to receive the secrets of his Master.

"When a person wants to speak with Hashem, Hashem pushes aside all of His concerns with which he was, so to speak, occupied, and focuses solely on the person who wishes to speak with him, and express his desire for closeness." (Rebbe Nachman)

For a moment of relationship with Hashem it is worth dealing with all the resulting responsibility, even if it is difficult. When a person sees the fruits of his relationship, those activities which have revealed the glory of Hashem, he is not frightened to return again. On the contrary he is inspired to connect to Hashem again.

The Desire to Give: 4a

In the olden days (unlike these days) a traveling peddler would travel with his wife. When they would arrive at an unfamiliar destination, there would be doubt as to their chances of making any profit there. They would leave their belongings at the local inn and go their separate ways. The husband would go to seek out money-making opportunities, whereas the wife would reconnoiter to find where she could purchase food and other needs to keep the household running. She might spend many hours learning the location and availability at the local shops and then, when her husband would return from his wanderings, be told that this is not a place where they would be successful selling. Despite all of her efforts to learn her way about town, as well as to unpack and organize things at the inn, she is now informed that they need to pack up and be on the move once again. After some years she learns that she never knows how long they will be in any one place or when they will suddenly be on the move again.

This was how the Jewish Nation lived for forty years in the desert. There were times they camped and then a day later they were on the move again. at other times they would camp for a month or longer. It all depended on when Hashem would send them a sign by the cloud beginning to move. This is the trust that a person needs to have in Hashem. To be prepared to go wherever Hashem sends him whenever Hashem sends him.

It is for this reason that Dovid HaMelech is compared to the moon. The moon changes based on what the sun sends to it. So too, he was the vessel for what Hashem would want from him. Each day it could be something different. One day's understanding has no bearing on the morrow. Trusting Hashem to do what He wants now.

The Desire to Give: 3

Sometimes a person's soul thirsts to pour out its heart to its Creator. It wishes to connect to its source. This is what we have described earlier as eliciting from Hashem a desire to give into the vessels of the recipient.

Other times the heart feels no burning desire to connect, it feels that it is lacking nothing at all. It enters into communication with Hashem only to fulfill the will of Hashem to be a faithful servant in whatever manner He desires. Each day to do whatever new task Hashem places before him. This is the "son of the maidservant," who has no will of his own and is completely given over to what is wanted of him. This is a lofty level of awakening to receive and to be found close to the Giver.

This is very difficult. If the recipient is thirsting to receive he knows his place and what he is doing. He knows and brings what he has accomplished in the past and is coming to build on them something greater. But one who comes to be taken to the level of the Giver has no knowledge of what he is entering into and what he is going to receive. He isn't thirsty either.

This is what Hashem described with regards to Moshe as פה אל פה אדבר בו, mother to mouth I speak to him, in my entire home he is trusted. This is Hashem giving from Himself and not just filling the vessel of the recipient.

The Desire to Give: 2

We can learn about these two levels by examining the dynamics of marriage. A woman might choose to marry because she is simply tired of being alone (טב למיתב טן דו). In this case the desire to marry is with her vessels. Another woman might feel that it is her destiny to find her soul-mate and be his help-mate. She feels lost and incomplete in the absence of such a relationship. When she marries it is because she is desiring the complete connection that marriage will bring. In this case she is entering into the marriage prepared to awaken her husband and become his vessel.

This distinction also exists between someone who was distant from Judaism and came closer, and someone who was born close. The one who was distant seems to have the advantage of coming from his own thirst and desire. But as he feels empty, it can be that he is only trying to fill his own vessels. Dovid HaMelech referred to himself as, "Your servant the son of your maidservant," he was always connected to Hashem. He had none of his own vessels, everything that was him was given to Hashem. He was always telling Hashem, "You have your will and what you want done, I am completely given over to be your servant and vessel to accomplish your goals." In his way he was receiving on the level of the giver. (The person originally distant can bring himself to this point as well.)

When the Jewish Nation left Egypt they had been in slavery and needed to be freed from it. They had a need for freedom which they understood and that need was filled. In the future redemption the people will not know beforehand how the redemption will manifest itself and what the "new light" will be. As a result they do not feel its lack and are not thirsting for it. That light will not be in their vessels, but in those of the Bestower. They are aware that there will be a redemption, but a lack of understanding of what it is, causes a lack of pining for it.