The Desire to Give: 5

People initially begin to serve Hashem by attempting to understand lofty concepts or spirituality. In this manner, what they are receiving is being poured into their own vessels. They are then spurred on too go further to arrive at self-nullification before Hashem and connection. In this manner their own vessels are being incorporated within the light of Hashem.

Many stumble when they reach the second step. They think to themselves, "We were seeking spirituality, true joy, and to be saved from base desires. We never asked to be encouraged to reach heights which we never contemplated. And now, because of our increased understanding, we have become nullified before the Light of Hashem which we don't want. We wished to fill our own vessels which felt empty, and we feel we ended up with something else.

This is the line of demarcation between those who are self-serving and those who are God-serving. The first person ends up losing out on both ends as described above. He doesn't find what he seeks and gets something in which he has no interest. But one who is prepared to truly serve Hashem understands that what he has accomplished is beyond his capacity. But what does he care as he is now a vessel close to the Bestower which is something else entirely.