Rather than trying to bring the light of Hashem into your own vessels, pick yourself up and be a vessel for lights that are greater than the wildest dreams heart and mind. This is the light that comes from communicating with Hashem with total trust. Even though these are not levels that you comprehend and can seek and request ahead of time, that shouldn't bother you. Why would you wish to remain stuck in your present understanding?
Anyone who wishes a relationship with Hashem has to first entice themselves with intellectual reasons, שלא לשמה, similar to the six days of the week which precede Shabbos. They can then glimpse the truth, לשמה, which is Shabbos. He can now comprehend that everything else was merely an introduction and the inner sanctuary is something entirely different. He can now serve Hashem from a position of closeness, on a level he never knew existed and never felt missing.
One cannot remain on this level constantly without a break. A person needs to return over and over again to those levels for which he hungered and where he began and from there to rise again.
Anyone who wishes a relationship with Hashem has to first entice themselves with intellectual reasons, שלא לשמה, similar to the six days of the week which precede Shabbos. They can then glimpse the truth, לשמה, which is Shabbos. He can now comprehend that everything else was merely an introduction and the inner sanctuary is something entirely different. He can now serve Hashem from a position of closeness, on a level he never knew existed and never felt missing.
One cannot remain on this level constantly without a break. A person needs to return over and over again to those levels for which he hungered and where he began and from there to rise again.
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