Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Foundations of Relationship: 1

Hashem founded the world upon the principle that any true relationship is based on one party being a bestower and one a recipient. In every situation in which the relationship finds itself, the two parties can be divided into the roles of a bestower and a receiver. It is impossible to have a proper relationship in which both parties are bestowers or both are receivers.

These roles are not static, it is not necessary for one person to always be the bestower and the other the receiver. In any relationship these roles should be dynamic, changing based on the particular situation. A person can be a recipient in relationship to his teacher, while being a bestower to his children. A woman can receive from her husband while giving to her children. A bestower is not a bestower while she is receiving. A receiver is not receiving when he is giving. Within a relationship the bestower one day can be the recipient the next.

If two people are studying Torah together or discussing matters of personal growth, at any given point in time one is the giver and the other, the recipient. These roles can change minute by minute, but there will be no satisfactory discussion without these roles existing. Their discussion can only produce fruit if there is a bestower and a receiver.

If at any point the one who should be bestowing is put in the role of recipient, and vice versa, the relationship will break down; there will be no peace and tranquility. Any time the situation calls for one party to be a recipient, even if usually he is the bestower, he must entirely change his nature to fit his current role. For example a teacher who spends most of the day giving to students may have to change his or her role and home to be a recipient in certain situations. This is even though his or her primary role in life is that of a bestower.

The point of this is to understand that with regards to Hashem all Creations are recipients relating to a bestower.

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