Yichud: The Foundation of Awe and Self-Reckoning: 5

Each person is inherently filled with love. When a baby is born her parents pour out love and kindness. They love her for her very existence, and only see good within her. As she grows they educate her with the need to respect and heed them, but the love underlies that. A child who is taken away from the arms of those who love her, and is lacking the deep rooted love is too confused to truly inoculate either love or awe as she is missing the very foundations. She is like a starving person with whom you can't reason as long as she has not yet sated her basic needs.

So, too, Hashem created the world as an act of love. He actualized Creation as He recognized the wondrous good that would emanate from it. Every morning our awakening is another act of loving devotion from Hashem.  We can recognize and acknowledge this as we say, "For you have returned to me my soul with kindness." Now we can enter into the realm of awe, after we feel the deep love.

Only after experiencing this deep seated Divine love can we blend it with awe. Just as a parent, in order to be successful, must first show his child love, before he can teach her awe. But a relationship predicated on awe and fear without the underlying foundation of love is bound to have disastrous results.

Yichud: The Foundation of Awe and Self-Reckoning: 3c

The bottom line is that a person cannot possibly do Teshuvah - truly connect to Hashem - when he is down and small minded. It is only possible when a person is feeling good about himself and is in a happy mood. If a person enters Rosh Hashanah, for example, all down because of his perception of wrongdoing, it is not the time to engage in Teshuvah. Better to wait until after the joy of Sukkos when he is feeling the power of his connection to Hashem. Work during Rosh Hashanah on beginning to feel that power.

The same is true when it comes to Tisha B'Av. If someone enters the Fast feeling down and depressed about the Destruction he will not be able to feel the greatness of the Bais HaMikdosh and truly connect to it. Before Tisha B'Av it is worth working on mutual love with others. Feeling the love and connection will enable someone to then enter the day and feel those areas in which that love and connection are missing. Rather than walking around with faces looking down, which is a superficial manifestation of the mourning, it is better to expand your consciousness  so that you can feel it in reality. "Speak to the heart of Jerusalem,' the prophet says. How can one speak to the heart if the heart is not present - if the heart is ignorant of what it means to feel a connection?

Yichud: The Foundation of Awe and Self-Reckoning: 3b

The day of Shabbos is a day on which one can easily come closer to Hashem. On Shabbos we come close with love and closeness, not with forceful energy. All the negativity is gone and subsumed within one's good. When our Sages teach us that on Shabbos we should consider all of our work to be done, that includes the work of spiritual improvement. Don't look at your own shortcomings, but fill yourself with joy and pleasure. Forget about any difficulties and don't criticize yourself. It is respite time for any prisoners.

True Teshuvah comes from feeling uplifted. The strength (גבורה) of Hashem is in that which He always approaches man with an abundance of good. Ultimately, it turns the person to good.

The Riyat"z once asked his father what he should be doing the night after Yom Kippur. "Teshuvah," his father answered. "But weren't all of our sins forgiven today?" The answer is that only after one has corrected his relationship with Hashem and recognizes how close Hashem is with us, do we really feel what we have been lacking in our service of Hashem.

Yichud: The Foundation of Awe and Self-Reckoning: 3a

It is the way of Hashem to pour out good on his children who have erred and sinned. By doing so it leads to the sinner having deep regret. When seeing that Hashem in His glory still wishes to have a relationship with him his heart is broken due to his mistake and he contemplates how not to return to his mistaken ways. There is no comparison between this type of regret, which comes from a loving relationship with Hashem, and one that comes from someone who is down because of his sin.

There is a parable about this from the Baal Shem Tov. There was once a villager who spit upon the statue of the king. The king took him and appointed to him to a governmental post. Over time he promoted him to higher and higher positions. The nicer the king was to him, the more he raised him up, the more he learned about how wonderful the king was, the worse he felt that as a lowly villager he had demeaned the king like that. He deserved a punishment and the king was being nice to him. The king realized that if he had killed him the villager's suffering would have lasted a moment. Now he was filled with constant suffering as to how he could possibly have done such a thing. This is how Hashem deals with our wrongdoing as well.

This only works for a contemplative person who stops to think about what he has done and realizes now the greatness of the king. Has he been a fool and seen that after his behavior the king was kind to him, he would have concluded that offending the king or being respectful was all the same - the king doesn't care. 

Yichud: The Foundation of Awe and Self-Reckoning: 2b

After Sukkos the people gathered together once again. "The Jewish Nation gathered with fasting, sackcloth and dirt upon themselves. They separated those of Jewish descent from the Gentiles and they stood and acknowledged their sins, and the iniquities of their ancestors. They then called out in a loud voice to Hashem their God." It was only after they had heard how much Hashem appreciated their joy, and that Hashem desired them even after they had sinned, because of the great favor they found in His eyes, that they had the strength to return to Hashem and to come close to Him.

The closer a person comes to Hashem, as he recognizes his preciousness before Hashem even after he has sinned, he learns also that there is no concept of being distant from Hashem. He then comprehends the gravity of his wrongdoing, as he comprehends that whatever he has done was directly in the presence of Hashem. He can then feel ashamed.

If there were no concept of forgiveness then a person would be forever stained. He would then feel that there was no reason to refrain from further wrongdoing as he is eternally blemished. But Hashem is forgiving, and wants to build us up. Despite the wrongdoing he cleanses and shows love.

Yichud: The Foundation of Awe and Self-Reckoning: 2a

We can now understand that the relationship forged by direct communication with Hashem brings a person to the point where he can feel true regret. He can have the broken heart that enables one to engage in true Teshuvah.

There is no comparison between someone who engages in self-reckoning when he is still distant from Hashem to that of someone who feels united with Hashem. Furthermore, the distant reckoning and regret do not have a lasting effect upon the person. Conversely one who has a broken heart when he is in an elevated spiritual state, while feeling connected to Hashem, understands the exaltedness of Hashem and his own, relative, punity.

After the building of the Second Bais HaMikdosh Ezra and Nechemiah gathered together all the inhabitants of Yerushalaim on Rosh Hashana. They wanted to speak to the people about their collective wrongdoing by engaging in intermarriage. But after speaking about this topic they said, "Today is consecrated to Hashem your God. Do not mourn or cry. Go eat delicacies and drink sweet drinks. Send gifts to those who have not prepared food, for today is consecrated to our God. Do not be depressed because joy in God is your strength... The nation went to eat and drink and send gifts and to celebrate with great joy because they understood the words that had been spoken to them.

The Malbi"m explains that the Torah portion about Rosh Hashanah was read before them and they felt the awe of judgement and wanted to fast. It was explained to them that we have confidence on the Day of Judgement that we will be acquitted and we therefore celebrate it as a holiday. The rejoicing in Hashem is your strength. This is a spiritual joy that emanates from feeling close to Hashem and begets this confidence.

Yichud: The Foundation of Awe and Self-Reckoning: 1b

The Ohr HaChayim writes that Hashem's nature it to do good to others. More than there is a desire on the part of the recipient to receive His good, He desires to do good. Hashem has developed many machinations in order to bring about this good. He has also informed us that the benefits of serving Him out of love greatly outweigh service that is predicated upon fear. The only drawback to service out of love is that a person will not take heed not to slip up on occasion. He will reason that due to the close relationship he has with Hashem, Hashem won't care about it, as is the case among people who are close. This is why we find that Moshe erred with his speech before Hashem on a number of occasions. Because of the closeness he had, he became lax in his awe. Another person who did not feel as close would have been more careful how he spoke to Hashem as he would be terrified of doing something wrong. But that isn't Hashem's attitude. Rather, even with those who love Him he is exacting.

At the giving of the Torah Hashem saw two options before Him. One was to give it with words of love so that it would be accepted with love. As mentioned earlier the advantage is that serving out of love is much more beneficial, but it brings along a certain laxity. Alternatively, He could give it in an atmosphere of fear which would result in people taking greater heed not to sin, but would bring them few benefits.

He compromised by doing both.