A Heart to Know and Ears to Hear: 1

When a person engages in Hisbodidus he enters into a shining spiritual existence akin to רוח הקודש, Divine Spirit. At this time he is being spoken to, and he should listen with the ears of his heart.

This is true anytime that a person finds himself at a time of favor from Hashem, when he can easily praise Hashem and make requests. It is a time of purity for a person when he can absorb things. The windows of his soul can open to hear what the Universe is saying to him. It is telling him the word of Hashem. People have always gathered on holidays to spend hours together soaking in the purity and holiness of what the times have to tell them.

It is important to understand that in these situations there are different levels of hearing.

A person may come to a sage for advice. Some people come only to make themselves heard. They are oblivious to what is being said back to them. Others come to listen, but they have already decided before they arrive what it is that they will be willing to listen to. They mix themselves into the words of the sage in order that they ensure that they are told what it is that they desire to hear. They, too, are not really prepared to hear what is being said to them. It is often clear that the sage wishes to transmit a particular message and the the person refuses to accept it.

One who truly hears isn't coming to press his own agenda or to choose what will be said to him. He comes simply to listen. He comes to take advantage of an opportunity to receive direction, whatever it is. To listen to it and to act upon it.

The Desire to Give: 5b

Rather than trying to bring the light of Hashem into your own vessels, pick yourself up and be a vessel for lights that are greater than the wildest dreams heart and mind. This is the light that comes from communicating with Hashem with total trust. Even though these are not levels that you comprehend and can seek and request ahead of time, that shouldn't bother you. Why would you wish to remain stuck in your present understanding?

Anyone who wishes a relationship with Hashem has to first entice themselves with intellectual reasons, שלא לשמה, similar to the six days of the week which precede Shabbos. They can then glimpse the truth, לשמה, which is Shabbos. He can now comprehend that everything else was merely an introduction and the inner sanctuary is something entirely different. He can now serve Hashem from a position of closeness, on a level he never knew existed and never felt missing.

One cannot remain on this level constantly without a break. A person needs to return over and over again to those levels for which he hungered and where he began and from there to rise again.

The Desire to Give: 5

People initially begin to serve Hashem by attempting to understand lofty concepts or spirituality. In this manner, what they are receiving is being poured into their own vessels. They are then spurred on too go further to arrive at self-nullification before Hashem and connection. In this manner their own vessels are being incorporated within the light of Hashem.

Many stumble when they reach the second step. They think to themselves, "We were seeking spirituality, true joy, and to be saved from base desires. We never asked to be encouraged to reach heights which we never contemplated. And now, because of our increased understanding, we have become nullified before the Light of Hashem which we don't want. We wished to fill our own vessels which felt empty, and we feel we ended up with something else.

This is the line of demarcation between those who are self-serving and those who are God-serving. The first person ends up losing out on both ends as described above. He doesn't find what he seeks and gets something in which he has no interest. But one who is prepared to truly serve Hashem understands that what he has accomplished is beyond his capacity. But what does he care as he is now a vessel close to the Bestower which is something else entirely.

The Desire to Give: 4b

A teacher may have stored in his mind deep secrets that he is unable to share with everyone. He seeks a student who can be the vessel to receive his teachings. A student who, so to speak, is the repository where the teacher can deposit the inner secrets of his brain; the roots that can grow anew in fertile soil. They cannot be shared with everyone, only with a student who uniquely understands his teacher.

In the same manner every person is a vessel in which Hashem wishes to deposit his secrets so they can grow into a revelation of His glory. Each person as the vessel he has been chosen to be. When a person comes to connect to Hashem he should understand that he is placing himself as the vessel in which to receive the secrets of his Master.

"When a person wants to speak with Hashem, Hashem pushes aside all of His concerns with which he was, so to speak, occupied, and focuses solely on the person who wishes to speak with him, and express his desire for closeness." (Rebbe Nachman)

For a moment of relationship with Hashem it is worth dealing with all the resulting responsibility, even if it is difficult. When a person sees the fruits of his relationship, those activities which have revealed the glory of Hashem, he is not frightened to return again. On the contrary he is inspired to connect to Hashem again.

The Desire to Give: 4a

In the olden days (unlike these days) a traveling peddler would travel with his wife. When they would arrive at an unfamiliar destination, there would be doubt as to their chances of making any profit there. They would leave their belongings at the local inn and go their separate ways. The husband would go to seek out money-making opportunities, whereas the wife would reconnoiter to find where she could purchase food and other needs to keep the household running. She might spend many hours learning the location and availability at the local shops and then, when her husband would return from his wanderings, be told that this is not a place where they would be successful selling. Despite all of her efforts to learn her way about town, as well as to unpack and organize things at the inn, she is now informed that they need to pack up and be on the move once again. After some years she learns that she never knows how long they will be in any one place or when they will suddenly be on the move again.

This was how the Jewish Nation lived for forty years in the desert. There were times they camped and then a day later they were on the move again. at other times they would camp for a month or longer. It all depended on when Hashem would send them a sign by the cloud beginning to move. This is the trust that a person needs to have in Hashem. To be prepared to go wherever Hashem sends him whenever Hashem sends him.

It is for this reason that Dovid HaMelech is compared to the moon. The moon changes based on what the sun sends to it. So too, he was the vessel for what Hashem would want from him. Each day it could be something different. One day's understanding has no bearing on the morrow. Trusting Hashem to do what He wants now.

The Desire to Give: 3

Sometimes a person's soul thirsts to pour out its heart to its Creator. It wishes to connect to its source. This is what we have described earlier as eliciting from Hashem a desire to give into the vessels of the recipient.

Other times the heart feels no burning desire to connect, it feels that it is lacking nothing at all. It enters into communication with Hashem only to fulfill the will of Hashem to be a faithful servant in whatever manner He desires. Each day to do whatever new task Hashem places before him. This is the "son of the maidservant," who has no will of his own and is completely given over to what is wanted of him. This is a lofty level of awakening to receive and to be found close to the Giver.

This is very difficult. If the recipient is thirsting to receive he knows his place and what he is doing. He knows and brings what he has accomplished in the past and is coming to build on them something greater. But one who comes to be taken to the level of the Giver has no knowledge of what he is entering into and what he is going to receive. He isn't thirsty either.

This is what Hashem described with regards to Moshe as פה אל פה אדבר בו, mother to mouth I speak to him, in my entire home he is trusted. This is Hashem giving from Himself and not just filling the vessel of the recipient.

The Desire to Give: 2

We can learn about these two levels by examining the dynamics of marriage. A woman might choose to marry because she is simply tired of being alone (טב למיתב טן דו). In this case the desire to marry is with her vessels. Another woman might feel that it is her destiny to find her soul-mate and be his help-mate. She feels lost and incomplete in the absence of such a relationship. When she marries it is because she is desiring the complete connection that marriage will bring. In this case she is entering into the marriage prepared to awaken her husband and become his vessel.

This distinction also exists between someone who was distant from Judaism and came closer, and someone who was born close. The one who was distant seems to have the advantage of coming from his own thirst and desire. But as he feels empty, it can be that he is only trying to fill his own vessels. Dovid HaMelech referred to himself as, "Your servant the son of your maidservant," he was always connected to Hashem. He had none of his own vessels, everything that was him was given to Hashem. He was always telling Hashem, "You have your will and what you want done, I am completely given over to be your servant and vessel to accomplish your goals." In his way he was receiving on the level of the giver. (The person originally distant can bring himself to this point as well.)

When the Jewish Nation left Egypt they had been in slavery and needed to be freed from it. They had a need for freedom which they understood and that need was filled. In the future redemption the people will not know beforehand how the redemption will manifest itself and what the "new light" will be. As a result they do not feel its lack and are not thirsting for it. That light will not be in their vessels, but in those of the Bestower. They are aware that there will be a redemption, but a lack of understanding of what it is, causes a lack of pining for it.